Tuesday, May 5, 2015

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???

Lover, I give up.

What's more - I give up on you.

You dream of me like I dream of you. And yet you're done.

Lover, I give up on you.

Lover, I never meant to get stuck on you.

But Lover - you are the one I will always miss.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Questions for Gabe:
1) Do you ever miss me so much it gives you a stomach ache?
2) Does your sister like the new girl you're dating?
3) Why don't you just call me when you're feeling lonely?
4) Are you embarrassed to introduce your new girlfriend to your grandparents because they liked me so much?
5) Or have you already?
6) And do they like her more than they liked me?
7) Do your friends like her more than they liked me?
8) What would you feel like if I started dating someone else?
9) Do you know I want you to be happy?
10) Do you I want you to be fucking miserable?
11) Do you -
11) Would you ever have--
11) are you just SO over feeling this way?
12) And you realize that we never would have worked, right?
13) Do I bug you?
14) Do you still think about asking me to marry you?
15) Do you still think I'd say yes?

15) Do you still think I'd say yes?

15) Well, do you?

16) Am I allowed to be mad at you?
17) Why am I so mad at you?
17) Why AM I so mad at you?
18) What did we do to each other to make me so mad at you?
19) Am I too mad at you to fix us?
20) Would you want to fix us if I wasn't so mad?
21) Are you mad too?
22) where you even serious about the whole marriage thing anyways?

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

It is inSANE that I am in love with someone who is in love with me, but that we're both too shitty to figure it out.

I still can't really wrap my mind around it. How can you be prefect for someone, or perfectly in love with someone, and life STILL doesn't fucking work out. What can you honestly expect out of life FINALLY being in love with someone, someone who is decent and kind and beautiful and age appropriate, and nothing really really bad happens, and you're in love with each other for YEARS, but you still can't make it work.

actually, I'm a little happy I can't make it work with Gabe. He's difficult and I never would have left him. But he was worth it. And we really fucking LOVE each other.

How insane is that? We LOVE each other, but we can't make it work. I thought just finding a decent person you love who loves you back was supposed to be the end of the journey.