It is inSANE that I am in love with someone who is in love with me, but that we're both too shitty to figure it out.

I still can't really wrap my mind around it. How can you be prefect for someone, or perfectly in love with someone, and life STILL doesn't fucking work out. What can you honestly expect out of life FINALLY being in love with someone, someone who is decent and kind and beautiful and age appropriate, and nothing really really bad happens, and you're in love with each other for YEARS, but you still can't make it work.

actually, I'm a little happy I can't make it work with Gabe. He's difficult and I never would have left him. But he was worth it. And we really fucking LOVE each other.

How insane is that? We LOVE each other, but we can't make it work. I thought just finding a decent person you love who loves you back was supposed to be the end of the journey.